You can ask any one of my friends and they will tell you that one of my biggest problems is giving too much of a fuck about what others say, think and do. Now I know people who are some of the most laid back people ever and I always say to myself ‘Jesus why can’t I be like that’ but I genuinely find it so hard to not care and not give a fuck at times, however I am slowly coming around to the idea of not giving a fuck and I find it is working well for me so far. I have less headaches and less BS coming my way.
I actually read a highly recommended book about how to not give a fuck and the author was literally describing my life when she said that the worst kind of fuck giver is someone who gives their fucks out like lollipops, to anyone and for anything and how everybody has a ‘fuck budget’ and each fuck you give has to be assessed into the budget. Now I am trying to be greedy and only give my lollipops to the ones that matter without being a bitch. I have always given too many fucks all my life, I have just become more wound up as the years go on. I found working in retail has thought me a lot of things about fuck giving, the main two things I learnt is that not everyone deserves your fucks and not everyone is grateful for your fucks! Retail has also thought me where to find the balance between not giving a fuck and being a bitch – and that is the area most people trying to transition get stuck on. It is a wobbly road I will admit. I am progressing though, I don’t care anymore really if I miss a night out to watch Downton in bed while it’s pissing rain outside, yet before I would have felt like I was missing out on the best night of my life even though it was just an ordinary night out?
There is a percentage of the human population that are sheep…a sheep being someone who follows the rest of the herd. This is the best way to fit trends into the conversation. Am I sheep? Not when it comes to cage tops because my boobs would just spill out or when it comes to chai lattes because I think they should only be around at Christmas time since it’s like drinking Christmas in a cup in the middle of May! And I personally hate avocados but there are those who swear by them and that’s fine. Oh and a fidget spinner entertained me for a whole day. I have been roped into the herd when it comes to the ripped jeans, hoopy earrings and chokers because I like them and think they look nice. Realistically though who is going to give a fuck if I a wearing a choker or ripped jeans? No one unless they really have nothing better to be doing with their time! I don’t think anyone should do something they do not like or wear something just because everyone else is on the bandwagon. So now I’m trying to not give a major fuck about the latest trends, it won’t impact my life whether I have it or don’t will it? No!
When it comes to what people say or think about me, it’s still an area under construction. I believe that if I feel good in myself I won’t really give a fuck what others think of me, I am nearly there so just have to keep it going. I am starting to have a little bit more confidence in myself day by day and I think that having confidence in yourself is a big time player in the whole not giving a fuck game. It is tough to not care about what people think about you but at the end of the day are other people thinking of you as much as you are thinking of them? When I look at who I am giving my fucks to I then ask myself would they really be doing the same? Nope the possibility of that is fairly slim to none. When I find I am bothered by someone, because we all have someone whose presence or face just annoys us, I take a step back and ask myself why….most of the time I cannot give myself a solid answer.
I just have to keep telling myself that it’s okay to not give a fuck about certain things. It’s okay to say no to going to that party if you’re just not up to it, it’s okay to not have the latest Michael Kors handbag, it is okay to not be eating the latest speciality avocado snack. It is okay to ration out your fuck giving. If you want to wear your hair in a messy bun going to the pub you do it…who is really going to give a fuck? Do you? When I find myself fussing over an outfit or if my friends are saying they think they look silly I will always ask them are they comfortable if they are then who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks?
So peeps revise who and what you give your fucks to…..hold onto your lollipops and give them to those who will appreciate them and be grateful 🙂
You should give a fuck. You really should. But only about things that set your soul on fire. Save your fucks for magical shit 🙂
The Life Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k, by Sarah Knight is where the diagram in the feature photo is from and is also the book I talk about above. Its a great read.