It’s something we all try to do right? At one stage in our lives or another we try to stop ourselves in our tracks and start afresh. From diets to fitness, to cutting people out of our lives or building bridges, new jobs or no jobs, quitting something or starting something, starting a relationship..or ending one, new hobbies or old hobbies etc;
Some people adjust really well and are able to turn their lives around and become this whole new person in a matter of weeks… Me? Well I’m over and back the line that is ‘fresh start’ and it’s a sensitive line let me tell ya! I either have one foot over the line or I jump right over it and THROW myself in at the deep end and it lasts about two weeks before I burn out! However each time I do throw myself in at the deep end I always find myself feeling better, even though it’s tough and I try & try to push myself and then I hit a wall and go backwards and I slump and sure enough there I am, back at the far side of that line! Its beginning to affect my mind-set slightly and I think mind sets these days are a delicate item for so many people! Slowly I am losing confidence in myself and I feel I will lose my determination to try push myself over the line again. Any of my close friends will tell you I go through a rotation of outfits before a night out, maybe four or five, why? Because I am losing my confidence and I also believe it is such an easy thing to lose nowadays. Now I have people (good people) who say , ‘ Oh it’s all in your head’, ‘You’re a lovely girl’, ya I know it’s all in my head and I also know I am a nice person – in one ear out the other lads! Now this will all happen at time when I’ve lost determination in myself…. I know that if I could just manage to get myself into a routine and bloody stick to it, I’d be well able to turn my 365 days a year around.
It’s like I go from square one to square ten, hit the wall and back to square one again… whiplash I have! And you know what it is? It’s fricking tiring, because I am not one of these people who manage in a month to do a 360 on their lives…but those people who have managed it, I do admire because I don’t know how the hell they did it!
I’ve tried numerous times to lift myself up and kick myself up the ass and tell myself cop on…but I am easily distracted and it’s not so easy, I find life gets in the way of life no matter what kind of one you lead! I spoke to a close friend of mine and she totally felt the same like she was drifting in and out of feeling good and feeling bad….over and back that line! And you know what I realised IT’S F**KING HARD! And I don’t have kids but when I told someone I was thinking of doing this particular blog they said, ‘Try throwing kids into the mix and then trying to do a 360..’ So for those who are trying to do the turn around with kids in the mix….100% do not forget to breathe!
It’s hard for anyone at some time or pivotal point in their life to tell themselves, ‘Cop on, pull your head out of your arse and stop feeling sorry for yourself’, those people who struggled but did it in a month had to go through a tough period before managing the accomplishment? It’s a hard goal to accomplish, if you did manage to turn your life around in a few weeks and found it like a summer breeze… kudos! But I can’t… and I know there’s one hundred others to agree with me. You know what though, it’s okay to struggle because we are never the only ones struggling realistically.
I’ve figured out a strategy that is helping me do the whole turn around slowly but surely to make my days on this planet a little better….. baby steps 🙂 Well it’s how we started isn’t it? I’m baby stepping my way by concentrating on not throwing myself in at the deep end, right now and for the last few weeks I’ve been focusing on my mind-set and where it’s at. Trying to space out my baby steps and concentrate on one thing at a time. It’s working. A slower approach if you will because trying to major in life cannot be done in a week simple as!
Wanna know what else I’ve realised? It will all fall together, May not be tomorrow or next week, month, day or year, but it will fall together! All I did was looked around at some people and was able to see how it fell together for them and I realised that they had to start somewhere…like that Drake song, ‘Started from the bottom now we here’ …Here being the top.
Well like Drake and those other people we will get there! Whats that good old adage again? Oh ya…
“Rome wasn’t built in a day”…