As this year comes to an end, I thought it would be a good time to do a recap blog post on a few bits this year has thought me! If you have eye rolled already then probably best to just click out now 🙂
2018 was a tough year for me personally, I know that there are people who have gone through FAR worse this year but each to their own! Know that each persons challenges are different & what may seem like nothing to some could be huge to others. This year has thought me so much about true friendship, love, career paths, life choices but most of all thought me A LOT about myself. Some of the key things I learnt about myself were dealing with my anxiety, dealing with my low days, learning to put myself first, making time for the people who matter to me aaaaaaaaaaaand how I am BRUTAL at motivating myself to workout or stick to eating right and cry about it as I eat a Dominos!
One of the biggest things I learnt about myself this year was that I place trust in too many people with too much personal crap. So when shit started biting me in the ass I was like jesus how will I deal with it all? If you ever find yourself dealing with a situation that you think you can’t confide in anyone or atleast more than one person, do what I started doing, write it down. Journaling is probably one of the best things I ever did. It gives you a place to put it all out in the “open” (getting it off your chest is the technical term) to say what you really feel & not a soul knows. Now I have since burnt one or two in frustration upon reading them over but I am dramtic and hey that’s a good way of letting go? A burn book! Ha! My dad always said to me “trust no one only yourself” and I eye rolled at him thinking he was just being dramatic but it’s f**king true folks. I can probably count those I fully trust on one hand at this stage and those people know they can count on me in return, but for those times when you just think that people will be too opinionated or judgmental or if you’re just not ready to share with others then share it with a €2 journal!
Another lesson I learnt is realizing when I am wrong. I think if you do something wrong & you cannot see why you are in fact in the wrong then what lessons are you really learning about yourself or that situation? Before, I used to jump to the denial defense mode but now I try to see where I went wrong with someone or doing something & admit defeat. Now, there have been instances throughout the year where I have been wrong and there may have been unintentional wedges drove between others and I — which is okay, sometimes that’s just people’s way of dealing with shite and you hve to let people deal with it their way — distance or burning the bridge. An old & very wise friend of mine once said “time will heal everything” and now when or if I panic about something I always think of that saying! So distance can close in & bridges can be built!
I think it’s the little things in life that matter, I’ve always been an advocate for making time for yourself and how important it is. Going for a coffee with a good friend, reading a good book, going for a walk or a face mask/hair + Netflix binge evening are just some of the things I do to make time for myself. In the last few months I’ve grown more fond of spending time to myself — I still fill the car with diesel and drive back to Doolin to just breathe and clear my head! Highly recommend. Things have happened this year that have made me very aware of how much I need my own space to put my thoughts in a straight line.
This year I also changed jobs, the best thing I ever did. While I miss the laughs & the stories I used to come home with, leaving my old job did my head space so much good — like I had a personality transplant with it too! Someone close to me also changed jobs and they were so hesitant at first to leave something so familiar but that made them SOOOOO unhappy — why? Isn’t your head space far more important I said! They’re still thanking me to this day. Don’t put yourself through something that makes you unhappy if you have a choice — and there always is a choice because life is full of loopholes.
A few people also asked me “whatever happened to that podcast you were banging on about starting” well, I actually recently started one for a local newspaper & held off on my own for another while as it suits me better and I gain more insight and opportunity this way with the newspaper! That answers that!
Try to cut out the negativity in your life — I promise it will work out better. Take a step back evaluating who and what are doing your life bad and good. Also evaluate yourself if there is anything you think there is something that maybe you can filter or work on. Once you start making the right decisions for yourself and get the ball rolling in the right direction, everything else will start to fall into place, if it doesn’t then you can DM me in a few months and give me shit for it 🙂
Remember the ‘shoulda coulda woulda’ thing everyone says when a moment has passed or you have done something differently or WHATEVER IT MAY BE and you kick yourself? Now……. Read the feature image caption!
I could go on and on but this is not my journal and I just wanted to jot a few things that I learnt this year down for you guys to read. Go ask yourself what have you learnt this year 🙂
“Buh-Bye 2018 ” – ME!