I have always been a fairly out there person. I like to share with people at times the beautiful places I am, or the people I am with or the food I am eating. Before, when I was being one of those Snapping Bloggers I used to talk about my anxiety, my day-to-day life, my stresses etc ; and to be honest something never felt fully right. I loved doing it, but I was so open to the community around snap chat that I soon realized this was my life that i was offering up for criticism & to be a topic of people conversation. I know there are some people out there who are very good at living the private life and the ‘on screen’ life as it were. I am not here to talk about that though – if you want to share your stuff with people every day then that is ultimately your decision and no one else.
I am here to talk about how talking or confiding in the wrong people or TOO MANY people can alter future decision-making. Take for example I am a very open person (well I used to be) telling my friends everything there was to know about everything going on in my life, telling people stuff I had barely accepted myself. I think the reason I did this so much was because, i felt i owed it to close friends to entrust my information about my feelings or whatever to perhaps prove loyalty? To maybe show them what they meant to me? I also used to explain myself all.the.time! literally if i wasn’t around of an evening or a weekend I would be telling people why, when, where & who the reasons behind my absence were. In all honesty, who really gives a fuck? Your friends shouldn’t need answers, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself. Why would anyone do that? I truly believe it was just a personality trade I had since I was younger. One thing my mother always said to me was that i explain myself too much – always did. Inevitably digging holes for myself.
In the past, I have been in situations and seen first hand how quick stuff can travel – be it good news or bad news. I have also come to learn that some people’s lives revolve around nothing but gossip, drama & other peoples business – all negative vibes no longer welcome in my head space.
so what is my point? If you are like me and you felt you always had to explain yourself or give reasons for this that and the other – take a few minutes and ask yourself why. Did it ever even help ? Your business is your own business – i made the mistake of telling people too much about previous situations in my life and of course people spoke about it and it was known knowledge among people etc – that now alters my decisions regarding the same situation – if i do this will they think i am an idiot? if i do that will they laugh at me? WHO THE HELL GIVES A SHIT? If people have nothing better to do then go around talking about your business and the decisions you have made for YOURSELF then they ought to perhaps go away and take a few minutes thinking to themselves.
I am slowly (but surely) learning that my business is my business – people don’t need to know everything – only what i want them to know. Keep your business to yourself – if you’re making a career move – tell only those you want to know. i see it every day on Facebook, Instagram, twitter and even snapchat – people will almost be putting up from get up time to go to bed timelines on their feed and every single little thing. How can you be so invested in another persons life that you actually give a crap as to what bus they got to get to the zoo with the kids?
I have learnt that the more ammunition(information) you give people the more they have to shoot you down with later in life. Share the moments you want to share with people – but keep your personal stuff to yourself. Don’t give people the ammo to talk about you or your life & certainly don;t let your past decisions stand in the way of your future decisions.
It’s a need to know want to know world. Tell people only what they need to know – not what they want to know! The more private my life becomes the more peace I have – obviously I have one or two close friends that I have that if I did need to talk they are there for me. I am not saying shut yourself out – just to learn (if you are like me) that not everyone needs to (or wants to) know your business, most of the time those that want to know don’t even give a shite they are just nosey.
This is a big learning curve for me also and I guess that’s why I wrote this post – to maybe try encourage a few others that may be the same as myself. Not everyone deserves to know my business, I know that now!
Be Lowkey. Be Private. Be Humble