As my twenty-seventh birthday fast approaches and these posts seem to be a yearly thing I said I would do another. I am recently taking time to reflect on a lot. I think while this is healthy to do from time to time it can go one of two ways, it can push you to change your ways slightly and make you grateful for the way things are in your life currently or it can also have a spin off negative effect if you reflect on things and you start to dwell on the things that should have been that aren’t or the way you handled past events – stuff like that.
I have learnt the hard way that keeping private is so important. Putting yourself into a self made bubble is the best sort of way to keep yourself safe in a world full of people waiting & willing to tear you down. I regret at times people knowing so much about me or my life but I feel I am or used to be one of those people who was caught in the moment and would vent, start blurting everything out and then regret it twenty minutes later – because people remember shit! Now I find I am more conscious of the amount I say or at least if I find myself venting I try my best to pull myself back. As I get older I now realize how important it is to have people in your life who do not judge, who do not gossip about your confidentiality in them, who just want to see you happy & who push you to be better. I no longer have time to be running around explaining myself or my decisions, also have no time for people who cannot accept responsibility for their wrong doings or actions or those who falsely accuse you.
I have time for adult conversations, laughter with friends, adventure days, fresh air and most importantly making memories. My mother once told me “Vitamin sea can cure anything” and boy oh boy was she right. I have time for finding a way to deal with my personal life myself and trying to deal with things myself while it is a HUGE learning curve for me I am slowly picking it up, learning from those around me.
Trying to fall in love with yourself is hard ya’ll. It has been & continues to be one of the more difficult roads in life I have traveled. Trying to gain self confidence in myself has been difficult, I went out for a friends birthday last weekend and went through 6 outfit changes! Just because I look in the mirror and do not like what I see, aware that this is all mentality I am now trying to push myself more and more to snap myself out of it.
Accepting your problems are your problems is another big player. I have learnt that you are the only one that can solve your own problems and save yourself from your own demons. While you may seek the solace in someone else, realistically all you can perhaps do is take on board their advice or take away from them some inspiration. You are the only one that can change your own mind about anything. While one person may be complaining about the weather ruining their date and you are complaining about the state of your house – these are both individual to one another and you may think of the other “It’s just weather get over it” and they may think of you “Just stop giving out and clean your house” – it’s what you are both going through and dealing with at this time. So no matter how big your problem may seem to you and no matter how much someone else may talk it down to shrink it. It is your problem and you are going through it so do not let anyone make you feel shitty about something that clearly matters to you.
When it comes to love and relationships I only now at 27 know what I deserve and know what I want in a person. I have come across my fair share of absolute knob heads who I am grateful to 🙂 for teaching plenty of lessons. I know to be with someone who I am happy with – does it really matter what anyone else thinks? No! Should it? No! Did I used to care what others thought? Yes! Did it have an effect on choices and decisions I made in past relationships? Hell to the yes! Now I know that it truly is what I want and what makes me happy. I feel now that I would require someone to prove a lot to me before any labels re established, but I think that is okay to require right? Isn’t that a basic thing to do to make sure your potential other half can give you what you need & maybe more? Isn’t right to try find that person you share that connection with and not settle for just anyone you get along with?
Finally I am a big advocate of ‘you do you’ and I still stand by it. Take time to do what you need to do for yourself. At the moment I push myself to keep busy and keep going then taking an evening to recharge and recuperate. Remembering that I am in charge of myself and can go at whatever pace I desire.
Remind yourself that you are in charge of your own life and that you have the power to choose your next step. Choose it wisely…for you!